Relationship Problems

Like any couple involved in a long-term relationship, Sally and I have had our share of ups and downs. According to her, right now our biggest problem is that I linger too long with my hand in the popcorn bag (not a metaphor). I didn't realize it was an issue until night before last. I got two bags of the above corn (on sale and still $4 a pop) and I opened a bag. Sally strolled up a minute or two later and stood next to me. She sat down by me and didn't say anything. I didn't know she wanted some popcorn; I thought she just wanted to be close to me...she does that sometimes. I was fooling around in the bag when I noticed her eyeing it. Next thing I know she goes "Oh, snap!" or something like that and plunges her hand into the bag before I can get mine out and we're both in there grabbing for popcorn. "Dang" I thought. Twice she stuck her hand into the bag before I'd removed mine, and twice popcorn kernels went flying. It was savage. Still she didn't say a word and I thought she was playing, but last night I opened the second bag and it happened again. She finally broke down and said "You know...you keep your hand in the popcorn bag WAY too long." That's hilarious. I didn't realize. She was very polite about it. I guess she didn't want to hurt my feelings. I wasn't sure if it was a case of impatience or the fact that she just really dug the popcorn or both, but I apologized sincerely and promised to try and speed the next handful along. 

I don't know why I dawdle in the popcorn bag. Maybe it's from too much time spent eating popcorn alone, or maybe somehow reaching into a bag of popcorn makes me think about things, like a Zen deal. I do seem to space out a bit as I'm fumbling around in there. I think it's because I'm trying to get the perfect handful so I can get as much as possible into my mouth in one scoop without getting too much. I try to make my fingers the same size as my mouth, just like a cat uses his whiskers to measure a hole to see if the rest of him can fit through. I do know that every third handful or so I take a second or two to select two nice round kernels to feed the Beagles, since they go berserk for the stuff, and that takes time. Even with careful self-analysis I'm not totally sure what causes this problem, but it's not making Sally very happy, and I'm worried that one of us is going to injure our popcorn hand. I'm going to have to work on it. I know I can fix this. I'm very committed to our relationship.